I am drawn to water and rocks. Whenever possible I try to spend time near the water, especially moving water.  Moving water inspires me and intrinsically builds my self- confidence. While noticing and enjoying a river at Lake Tahoe one year, I began to visualize leadership as a current in the river bed of life. The longer I stared at the river, the more curious I became about the comparison between a current and leadership influence.  That day I made a couple of observations that have guided me as a leader and a leadership coach:

1. Patience: The current is dependent on having water.  The old saying “you can’t control the wind, but you can adjust the sail” is also true of rivers.  Leaders depend on opportunities and openings to present themselves and are prepared for when they happen.
2. Momentum: Despite the obstacles a river faces, the current moves onward toward a destination and sweeps all things lighter than the water or not secured to the ground with it.
3. Leverage: the power of the current is in direct proportion to the slope of the terrain the river flowed through. For leaders slope is built upon leadership talent, knowledge, and skill.  The more experienced the leader the more likely a current will be moving in their life.

My thought for today:

What am I doing to build my leadership platform so it functions like a river bed?  Are you preparing for your time when work flows through your way and are you able to create a current of activity that is magnetic and powerful?

“What makes a river so restful to people is that it doesn’t have any doubt – it is sure to get where it is going, and it doesn’t want to go anywhere else.”

~Hal Boyle

I was blessed beyond measure last week.  I was invited to lead Gold Star Parents (honor given by the Army to parents who lose a child to the war) through a process of shifting from their pain of losing a child to considering what a “new normal” kind of life might look like for them.  As a way of symbolizing their breakthrough we arranged with the Golden Knights (Army championship Parachute team) to set up tandem jumps for any parents who would like to skydive in honor of their son or daughter.  We called the program Leap of Faith.

WOW, what an amazing experience to witness nine parents/siblings make their own leap of faith to honor and accept their new normal life without their loved one physically present.

I learned a lot over those three days with the Gold Star families.  One leadership lesson came to me when I was in the plane with Joe, my assigned tandem jumper.  I asked him how many times he had jumped. His response startled and calmed me:  over 4,000 times.  As I waited my turn to take my own leap of faith it was extremely comforting to know that Joe had done this so many times he has lost count.  Can you relate? A tandem jumper literally has your back.  They are strapped to your back and take the jump with you so you can experience it as they do.

Leaders with vast experience give people the ability to take risks simply because they have been there, done that!  As a leader, your years of experience are essential in helping younger followers build their own courage.  The impact of your appropriate confidence on your followers is priceless.

Leaders instill confidence in others by assuring them and taking the dive with them early on in their training to ensure they land well!

Leaders, take the leap of faith challenge:

1. Share your stories of where you have been to those who are following you
2. Don’t just tell them, show them by having their back

- Dr. Doug McKinley

When was the last time you had a snow day? Chicago was blasted with 20” of snow recently leaving many of us stranded at home with our families, messy closets, and leftovers to eat.  How wonderful it was! During my 24 hour forced sabbatical, I was reminded of how busy I am with work.  I reflected on my recent weeks activities and just chuckled to myself at the pace I have been keeping.

Upon further reflection a thought emerged.  To me, the snow drifts preventing me from leaving the driveway symbolized the amount of things I am responsible for.  Sometimes they pile up so fast that I can’t get out from underneath them.  As I went outside to shovel, I looked at the job from a leader’s perspective and realized:  This is going to be a pain to remove snow from over 50 feet of driveway. Being the strong leader I am, I ran inside and recruited my wife and daughter to help me.  Beginning the work, I was frustrated, one shovel full after another piling snow from one spot to another.  To my surprise though, something began to happen during the activity.  I started to feel like we were making progress.  That is a GREAT feeling.  I hadn’t experienced that feeling for days, if not weeks.  That feeling of progress led to us completing the task much quicker than I expected and with significantly less agitation.

It’s no wonder they call snow removal “plowing”.  That’s what making progress is:  plowing through the work.  If you are feeling packed with work and overwhelmed, try taking a step back, assess your workload, ask for help, and dive into it.  If you take it one shovel full at a time, you may be surprised how quickly you begin to make meaningful progress.

“Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.”

The holiday season can be a frustrating time for ambitious leaders.
Some leaders may feel that employees leaving early and various parties happening end up being time wasters.  These leaders want productivity.
Are you one of those leaders?  If so, I have a suggestion.
Reframe the holidays from being less productive to being more relational.
The holiday season lends itself toward more personal conversations and thus better connection to your team.  Just do it.  Ask employees how their family is doing, where they vacation, what their favorite traditions are.  Five minutes of authentic conversation with one of your managers or directors could be worth thousands of dollars to your organization due to increased ENGAGEMENT.

Remember the number one reason people leave their jobs is due to conflicts and issues with their boss.  Be a leader that people want to work for.
You will find that if you spread a little holiday joy, it will give you a return on investment for months to come.

My father, Don McKinley, was a builder. When he was 19-23 years old, Don and his crew built over 100 homes in Marion, IN. He was always someone who got things done.

Architects, engineers, planners, and construction workers do the necessary work for a structure to be built. One without the other will not create anything long lasting. Builders can throw stuff up but without proper planning and design, it may or may not serve its intended purpose. This contrast reminds me of the difference between leaders who can build leaders verses leaders who build relationships. While leaders may get things done, relationships are the foundation for things to be accomplished. Building leaders is simply different than building relationships.

One major difference is leaders are about doing and relationships are about being. We build leaders for a purpose; we build relationships to be with others.

We clearly need both but make no mistake. If you are a relational leader your style will not automatically build leaders. Relational connections are the foundation for something to happen. If you want to build leaders you must lean into the relationship and expect things to happen. Building leaders requires you inspire people to take the bull by the horn and take care of business. Unfortunately, strong leaders are rare. Perhaps it is because we don’t set clear and reasonable expectations and consistently inspect if they are being met.

Doug McKinley, Psy.D

Have you ever thought about leadership being like a giant mousetrap? If not properly managed and self aware, leaders may end up walking into leadership like a mouse is lured into a trap. The company builds the trap. The cheese is the status or compensation, and human nature sets the spring.

Sometimes I observe leaders who are so intent on doing “leadership deeds” that they are unaware of who they are affecting and why. Leadership experts maintain that leadership is influence, but they aren’t as clear about who and what we should influence people toward.

My concern is that the trap is set for leaders to lead toward something rather than because of something. We erroneously lead for the attainment of goals rather than paving the way to a better future. What does leading toward goals get us? Does it get us another trophy, another milestone, another dollar? Is that what brings fulfillment as a leader?

I intuit that the leadership mechanism may be flawed. If you are moving into leadership, be vigilant of why you are doing so and whom you are affecting. Ask yourself what “cause” fuels your desire to lead. I tend to think the be-CAUSE is us. People are the reason we lead. We lead to rally and inspire each other, to support, encourage, and celebrate the wins. People and their lives are what matter, not the cheese.

What cheese are you chasing?

In what other ways might the leadership trap be luring you?

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.” —Max DePree

Doug McKinley, Psy.D

This past year, I was privileged to serve with a team who delivered a leadership conference for non-profit leaders in Nicaragaua. The poverty level there is staggering. People living in this country have nothing compared to what I am used to. In our homes and cars air-conditioning is considered standard, for most of our culture eating three meals a day is considered normal, in America most people can go and purchase whatever clothing they want. None of this is standard or normal for those living in Nicaragua or any third world country. How can you lead people who are driven by the low end of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs?

I watched these Nicaraguan leaders engage with their people and was in awe of the one quality that inspires individuals in any economic situation: HOPE.
I was blown away at the masterful use of hope the leaders brought forth throughout the week. What does the role of hope play in successful leadership? For me it is the central nexus for all change. It is the unwritten and unspoken memorandum of understanding between current reality and our future. Without hope we default to statistics and forecasts. Hope is the single strand that binds together all forms of motivation for a better company, a better life, a better future.

While I came to Nicaragua to serve and teach on leadership, I also walked away from that place a more enlightened student of leadership.

What role does hope play in your leadership style?

Fill in the blank: Hope and leadership are like ________________________

Doug McKinley, Psy.D